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"Can we" vs. "How can we"

Writer's picture: That PNW DadThat PNW Dad

We're only a month into 2024, and we're already reevaluating the goals we made for the year, and you know what? That's okay, it's a good thing to look at your goals and reevaluate them as needed. If we don't reassess our goals, we're setting ourselves up for failure.

Let's revisit our previous goals real quick. Our big goal was to buy a house within the next 2-4 years.... Well, after taking a closer look at our current life situation, we decided that our goal needed to be changed. Let me explain. We're currently expecting baby #3, and we're super excited! In fact, that's why we got the new house this past year; we needed more space. With a soon-to-be family of 5, we are going to need a bigger car. I really wanted to avoid this, but it looks like it's going to be high on our priority list; otherwise, whenever we go anywhere, someone is staying home, just kidding...


The problem


I'm totally excited to get a new car; I'm just not excited to have to pay for it, especially since we just added a huge expense to our list with the mortgage we just acquired. I know a lot of people will say it's no big deal and to just take payments on it and call it good, but it won't be good! We will be making $500 payments every month! Monthly payments of anything suck your wallet dry and leave no wiggle room for anything else, and I am not about that life unless I have no other option.


So, what's the plan then?


Since I'm not about to take out a new car with a $500 payment on it, I'm going to have to pay cash for this one. I'd rather pay upfront, avoid a huge monthly payment, and avoid interest on my purchase. But what I just described is not a plan... in fact, I have no idea how we are going to do this, yes I know this is a problem, but I have no doubt we will figure it out along the way.


How vs Can


Trying to reach a goal like buying a new car within a year can seem overwhelming and almost impossible. When we start out asking “can i/we accomplish this impossible tasks” we start to question our abilities to accomplish the task set before us, and that doubt starts to seep in and keep us from pursuing our goal. At this point it just seems too hard and never even get started. On the other hand, if I change the can i/we statement to "how can i/we", that small change makes all the difference in the world. Instead of questioning yourself on whether you can accomplish a goal, you skip that part and jump right into how you are going to do it. There is no longer any question of whether you will do it; just of how you will do it. Believe it or not, that small change can make a huge difference in your mindset and in how you approach any task. Stop asking "can this be done" and start asking "how can this be done," instead of subconsciously doubting yourself you can be working on figuring out a solution.


What about the other goals?

Buying a second property will have to take a back seat for the year. That’s not to say im not still trying to keep the initial goal on track. I already started asking how can we? vs can we So I think we are on the right track.


Thanks for sticking around and reading until the end! I would love to hear your thoughts, so leave a comment below!




 

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Michael Macomber
Michael Macomber
30 janv. 2024
Noté 5 étoiles sur 5.

I love this. It can be difficult to "pivot" when you've made a solid game plan, but it's also necessary sometimes, as you know. Something as simple as changing your wording, like you've demonstrated by saying "How can I" instead of "Can I" is a great way to "trick" the mind to keep moving in a forward trajectory toward your goals. Thank you for the reminder. 🙂

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