10 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me: A New Homeowner’s Guide from a Fellow Rookie

So you bought a house.

🎉 Congrats! Welcome to the magical, slightly cursed realm of homeownership, where you now own a roof, some walls, and roughly 47 things you don’t understand but are now legally responsible for. There’s no manual. No tutorial level. Just a handful of YouTube videos, a clogged sink, and a dream. I have always lived in apartments until now, so when we bought our house, I was a complete rookie. My current domestic adventure is still developing, but so far I have lived to tell the tale. This isn’t advice from a contractor or a lifestyle influencer with a perfect tool wall — it’s real talk from a dad who has never lived in a house before, although I have been inside one before.

So here it is. Ten things I genuinely wish someone had told me when I first got my house — with Pro Dad Tips along the way, because we might as well pretend we know what we’re doing.

1. Label Everything Like You’re Leaving Clues for Future You (Because You Are)

That one breaker switch? Label it. That random key that only works if you jiggle it while whispering affirmations? Label that too. The “figure it out later” approach is cute until you’re flipping every breaker in the middle of a blackout like you’re diffusing a bomb. Give future you a reason to love past you.

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Get a label maker. It will become your third child. Label circuit breakers on top and side — flashlight-you will thank sober-you during the next power outage.

2. Find the Shut-Offs BEFORE Chaos Happens

Your water main. Your gas valve. Your fuse box. These are not scavenger hunt items — these are the holy trinity of don’t-burn-your-house-down preparedness. Because one day, something will hiss, spray, or gurgle, and you’ll wish you weren’t Googling “where is my water shut-off” while ankle-deep in regret.

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Take a selfie next to each shut-off with a thumbs up and label it in your phone. Bonus points if you show your partner and turn it into an emergency family field trip.

3. Start a House Binder (or a Digital Folder If You’re Fancy)

Every single manual. Paint colors. That one plumber who actually showed up. Put it all in one place like a slightly boring but life-saving scrapbook.

Don’t rely on memory. My brain can’t remember what each of my kids’ names are (I have 3 — jk jk) and that I can eat gas station sushi. Spoiler: I cannot.

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Create a Google Drive folder called “House Stuff” and share it with your partner. If you're feeling old-school, throw it in a binder with plastic sleeves, color-coded tabs, and passive-aggressive sticky notes like “DO NOT THROW THIS AWAY, TODD.”

4. Always Budget for the “What Fresh Hell Is This?” Fund

You thought the big costs ended at closing. How I wish you were right.

Welcome to the budgetary black hole of:

• A fence post that snaps mid-windstorm like a breadstick.

• A mysterious smell in the crawlspace.

• Something in the attic that may or may not be raccoons.

Make peace with the unexpected. Budget for it. Laugh about it later (way later).

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Name your emergency fund something that makes you feel powerful. Mine is “The Nope Account.” Every time I transfer money to it, I feel like I’m building a wall against chaos. Because I am.

5. Your Neighbors Are Gold (Maybe Not. Wave Anyway.)

You don’t have to be besties. But that neighbor who saw you duct-taping your mailbox during a windstorm? They might also know the trash pickup schedule and have a ladder that isn’t held together with zip ties. Sometimes, a friendly nod = future tool borrow privileges.

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Write a short welcome note with your names and phone number. If you’re feeling bold, add a “P.S. We have a pressure washer — happy to share!” It’s like a secret handshake for suburban survival.

6. Don’t Reno Everything Immediately. Just… Don’t.

Look, I know the urge to repaint, refloor, re-roof, and raise chickens is STRONG. But give your house time to show you what really needs changing.

Sometimes the things you thought were dealbreakers grow on you. (Looking at you, weird patterned tiles in my house.)

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Tape up “maybe” zones with painter’s tape. Sit with them. Live with them. Eat cereal next to them. Then decide. Bonus: You can still feel productive while doing absolutely nothing. Classic dad hack.

7. Change the Air Filters. Clean the Dryer Vent.

This is the unglamorous side of homeownership, but ignore it and you’ll end up with higher bills, cranky HVACs, and lint goblins plotting your downfall.

This isn’t sexy advice. But neither is lung damage.

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Put it on your calendar quarterly: “Dustocalypse Prevention Day.” Wear gloves. Blast an ’80s playlist. Pretend it’s a ritual. Boom — tradition created.

8. Buy a Plunger Before You Need One (This Is Not a Joke)

Just… do it. Don’t wait for disaster. Don’t be the person sprinting to a store with crossed legs and a prayer.

But who knows? Maybe you like to live life on the edge. If that’s the case, then go ahead and live life to its fullest.

Also: every bathroom deserves its own plunger. Share cookies, not plungers.

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Go deluxe. Get the industrial-grade one with the fancy flange. You'll feel like Thor with a very specific hammer. No bathroom chaos will be a match for you!

9. Take Move-In Pics of Everything

Walls. Floors. Ceilings. Baseboards. Windows. Attic. Your smile before things get weird.

Not just for insurance — for peace of mind. “Was that crack always there?” is a game you don’t want to play without photographic proof.

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Narrate a video walkthrough like a nature documentary. “Ah yes, here we see the wild breaker box in its natural habitat…” It'll be funny later... mostly to you. Also? Incredibly useful.

10. Celebrate Every Tiny Win. Seriously. Every. Single. One.

Installed a curtain rod? That’s a win. Re-caulked the tub? That’s practically a hero’s journey. Organized the junk drawer? I see you.

This house is your story now. And you’re writing it one crooked picture frame and half-leveled shelf at a time. Keep at it.

🔧 Pro Dad Tip:Start a “Home Wins” list on your fridge. Add dates. Add photos. Add stickers if you want, or draw on it. This is your house. You make the rules.

Alright, that’s it. Now go have fun in your new house, kids. This blog actually reminded me I need to clean my gutters, so I guess I will go do that. Until next time